


Ronan

by snarkyscorp



Series: Bits & Pieces [1]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Ficlet, M/M, not even done with the gd series, so help me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-14 00:21:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5722561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarkyscorp/pseuds/snarkyscorp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bits and pieces of Ronan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ronan

**Author's Note:**

> I've only read through Dream Thieves, so I'm sure there will be plenty more to come in this series. This obsession spurred on so fast.

Shame is an incredibly powerful thing. It wraps around Ronan Lynch's neck like a lasso, tightening with every glance he takes or touch he steals. None of it is ever warranted. He knows that. Because Adam Parrish isn't like him. But the greed is all-consuming, urging Ronan to do the things he knows he shouldn't - a little brush of skin here, an inappropriate joke there.

Afterwards comes the shame, coiling into his body and around all the things that matter: not just his heart but his soul, too. He's never felt like this, and he doesn't understand how people can go on living once they realize this kind of thing.

Gansey and Adam like Blue, but do they like her in the raw, desperate, black way that Ronan likes Adam? In the way that keeps him up after his nightmares for reasons beyond wanting to take dream things and make them reality. In the way that makes his skin itch when Adam smiles at him or, worse, when he frowns. In the way that claws through Adam's insides, wrecking him for anyone else.

Do other people feel this way? Do other people obsess over the shape of a mouth in the darkness or the glint of eyes in the daytime or the rhythm of breathing when they're close?

Insanity runs in the family. Declan's got it bad, it somehow managed to skip over Matthew, but their father was diseased with insanity, and he pushed the brunt of it through his genes and into Ronan's somehow, he's sure. This must be how his father felt when he'd created Aurora. How obsessive and quivering, a thing come undone from all its tethers, ready to grab without care for what it grabs or why, just that it's necessary and _now, now, now_.

Ronan wakes in a sweat, shaking and angry and guilty and hurt and desperate. He snakes a hand over his body to feel that he's alive, the tick of his heartbeat a glaring tell under the thin of his skin. He's terrified the whole world can hear its screams; it beats to _A-dam Par-rish_ in a stuttered rhythm. Long, bony fingers clench, pale against his naked chest, as if that motion alone is all he can do to keep his heart from gnashing out of him and destroying everything in its wake just to get to Adam.

Adam with his long eyelashes and patient expressions. With his dismal background that should have been Ronan's it's so shitty. With his coltish legs and feverish mouth and eyes that sing through the reality and straight into his dreams.

When Ronan's hand finds its way beneath the waistband of his pajama pants, the shame eats him alive inside-out, and when he feels the stick-sweet mess he's made of himself, all he can think is how easy it might be to do it again. To dream and maybe take Adam from that dream and keep him like that for his own.


End file.
